Knifed

The Dalai Lama Facebooked me this morning - well, me and few thousand of his closest pals.

He says love, compassion & concern for others are REAL sources of happiness. Hmmmm. He says if I have them in abundance that I will not be disturbed by uncomfortable circumstances. If I nurse hatred that I will not be happy even in the lap of luxury.

Wish I had more of that stuff. Sometimes the compulsion to hate (really too strong of a word) is so powerful. Usually the urge is fueled by some self-righteous indignation or some perceived wrong done to myself. Or, it could have something to do with that knife sticking out of my back. Of course, in my life, there is always some happy, joyous and free 'doo-dah' nearby to tell me that if I were to examine that knife closely it would most likely have my fingerprints all over it.

Anyone who relies on the 12 Steps to negotiate life knows what is in store for me if I chose to deal with a resentment with the steps. We also know what's in store for us if we don't. Sometimes I feel like I just can't take the leveling of pride one more time. Sometimes King Baby wants someone else to humble their effin selves. As hard as finding my part in a situation can be, it pales in comparison to cleaning up my side of the street.

So, once more on this road to happy effin destiny, I get to make that third step decision - claim my part to the person whose knife is wedged between my shoulder blades or continue to nurse that resentment. Either way there are consequences. Again, I get to choose - be 'right' (or should I say righteous) OR be happy.

Honestly, still sticking with righteous here, contemplating the happy thing. More will be revealed they say.

Hold that thought...
James