Keeping the Faith

The subject of faith popped up a couple of times in my day yesterday. Since I am more Pagan than Saint, my faith has not been in the magical powers of a deity. Although, just in case, I pray to one every day! Maybe someday it will evolve into a more traditionally religious kind of faith.

After being dragged through a number of tough times sober over the last few years, my faith in the guiding principles of the Steps has increased immensely. My faith that, when applied, the principles will enable me to match calamity with serenity has bloomed. I am sure today that the principles will solve all my problems, not just the drinking problem, if I choose to practice them.

Each principle has an opposite. I have gotten the chance, with a little time, to see what happens when I choose dishonesty over honesty, for example. I have chosen the way of both in my sobriety. Many times my mind says, “Lie, Lie, Lie!” I have more faith every day, that if I do the uncomfortable thing and be honest, all will turn out better.

This goes with all the other principles of the Steps - exercising hope as opposed to pessimism, trust as opposed to skepticism and courage as opposed to avoidance. Results have been better when I chose the way of integrity instead of dishonorable motives, practiced willingness instead of stubbornness and bent to humility instead of relying on self. Treating others with love rather than intolerance or contempt has paid off numerous times, as well as placing value in justice rather than protection of an unhealthy ego. Perseverance, meditation and service have given me so many more rewards that their opposites. Although, of course, my mind still says “Quit, go for the quick high and relax.” I often fall short, and make a less than optimum choice.

These are the principles, when practiced, that have changed my life. They are what I believe will keep me safe through coming trials and tribulations. 

Having said all that, I still pray to God at least every morning and every night and usually many times throughout the day. At first, being some sort of heathen/pagan/christionoid/buddhist was a confusing and uncomfortable for me, but you guys said just keep coming back. You said you prayed and you were kept sober, so I did too and will continue to pray my ass off.

Like our literature says, the important thing for me was to quit the debating team. That was getting me no where. It tells me all I have to do is seek. Today, I am comfortable with my beliefs being fluid, because in the mean time, my faith in the principles, the steps, the process, the program is strong enough to get me through the day.

Hold that thought...

James