Strange Cravings

A spot on a television show about people with bizarre addictions
featured  a woman that is addicted to a scouring cleanser. It reminded
me of a song we used to sing when I was a kid. It went like this:
“Comet. It makes your teeth turn green. Comet. It tastes like Listerine.
Comet. It makes you vomit. So, get some Comet and vomit today!”

It does not have that effect on this poor lady. She is addicted in spite
of the fact that there is no narcotic high but does have some nasty side
effects. I guess that is kind of like peanut M&Ms for me, as well as
shopping, sex, fried foods and getting attention from people.

The dangers of these activities pale in comparison to the dangers drugs
and alcohol posed in my life.  Sobering up though, has presented me with
a new class of problems. When restless or stressed, I often find myself
yearning for these subtler highs.  Once I indulge, moderation is almost
impossible. It seems to get a little better every year that I am sober.
At six years, they can still kick my ass.

There might be an argument for devine creation here somewhere. According
to the theories of evolution and natural selection, the creatures that
craved Brussels sprouts and wheat germ should have had an advantage over
those loving to eat whale-blubber chitlins and sugar cane. The mutations
that loved their veggies and scorned nature’s candy should have survived
to eventually populate continents. Maybe there is a big guy up there
that just like to dick with me.

Maybe someday, when I grow up and am self-actualized I will crave small
portions of lean meat and will go on broccoli binges. Maybe, I will
spend less than I earn. Maybe, the thought of sex without a deep meaningful relationship
will just seem tawdry.

I guess I just should be grateful that blackouts and the risk of being
arrested are not on my radar today. Nor is a bizarre compulsion to eat
cleanser or toilet paper. A burning desire to clean house a bit more, make a little
more money and exercise daily would make life a little better, I think.

Hold that thought…
James