The Dalai Lama said, "In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." Recently I have had the opportunity to do a little practicing in this area. Not that I really have any enemies, but I do have people in my life whose behavior I find particularly assaulting.
The childish part of me, which is a substantial part, wants to pull their hair and call them names. It sounds like the Dalai Lama is suggesting it may be a golden opportunity to better myself. Ugh. I would much rather that the people around me better themselves so I won't have to. It's beginning to look like that is not going to happen.
It is so difficult for me not to make other's offensive behavior about me. That is because my tendency is to make everything about me. Everything actually works pretty well when I am helping myself to other's joys and toys, but when I am putting myself in the center of their fears and tantrums it is painful. My reaction is always withdrawing from the latter and clinging to the good stuff.
My spiritual advisor consistently has to bring me back to the core principle of love and tolerance of others and the basic idea that all solutions are to be found within myself. Try as I might, I can not and should not try to change the person I am finding so offensive. My only hope is to nurture a compassion for them and try to be of help. Oh boy.
I mean really, can't I just snatch a patch of that hair out? Who is going to let them know how screwed up they are if I don't? Thoughts like these come so naturally but ultimately cause me so much pain and trouble.
So, I guess it is time to twist myself up in the lotus position and meditate on tolerance. There will be no hair pulling today.
Hold that thought,
James
I think there is a substantial amount we can learn from those who oppose homosexuality. I think some of their fears are legitimate at there core but exaggerated through the word of mouth.
ReplyDeleteThe one concern a so called "enemy" to the lgbt community brought up was that of raising kids around a well rounded circle of people. I think the concern on adoption in specific for gays and lesbians is there will be a lack of both religious morals and a lack of women or men in the childs life.
Of course this is a valid concern. However homosexuals and transgenders aren't going to necessarily reject everyone in there life and on purpose raise their kids in a bias environment. No good parent would do that. And gays can be good parents as well as they can be bad parents just as any one else when it comes to parenting.
The case in point is to accept the rejection and learn the other sides concerns. From there you must correct the concern as much as possible by providing good solid evidence for your own case and rejecting the evidence of the other side by showing the fallacies of logic.
Its a long complicated task. But befriending the enemy is long-time and effective concept. One that does takes practice.