Getting Me Down

The first time I ever went snow skiing, I read a brochure before we started. It said that skiing was a sport that tries the human spirit. I remember thinking, “Why am I doing this?”

Life is like that for me sometimes. Last week was one of those weeks that really tested my spirit. It was a touchstone of my spiritual condition. My spiritual condition proved to be not-so-great.

As a beginner skier, so much energy is wasted by fighting every turn, every rise and fall; falling and getting up over and over. That is what last week reminded me of. I found myself off in the trees several times. A couple of times faced with moguls as far as the eye could see. Once getting blindsided by an inconsiderate, fallible fellow skier. I found myself praying for someone to get me down from that mountain before I hurt myself. When I get like that, I start to think, “Why am I doing this?”

Something did get me down off that mountain safe and sound. Turns out that I was safe all along. Literally millions of people on this planet faced real problems last week. Mine were self-created and mostly imaginary. If it weren't for the love and guidance of my fellows, I would become lost in this delusion like I was years ago. Now, I just have shorter little trips into that place and eventually I am led back to safety.

At some level as I struggled -  I knew that my regular meeting with my sponsor, a meeting with a sponsee, twice daily prayer and meditation and a spattering of meetings would carry me through the week safely. I then planned a day off to make this weekend a three-day affair.

This weekend, I surrounded myself with the people that I love and I draw so much strength from. Morning, noon and night I spent with my people. As always the effect on my outlook and attitude was amazing. Heart to heart talks, helping someone in a worse condition than myself and going out and having pizza with a troop of rowdy recovering alcoholics were just a few of the things that refreshed my spirit and renewed my optimism. I have been pulled back to reality - the reality that i am one lucky son of a gun. As I begin a beautiful day off, I feel happy to be alive. My house is clean and I am back to the gym. I will try to eat healthier today.

It takes a village to keep James on track - and now and then the ski patrol. Occasionally you guys carry me down the mountain and sometimes you tell me to quit my bitching and ski. On a few occasions you have just rolled my ass down. Somehow, I am always taken care of.

Thank the gods, it works when you work it.

Hold that thought...

James

p.s. new logo - no more briefs! yeah!