James, see those shadowy figures out there? Those are people - people with their own loves and losses, disappointments and dreams, pains and losses. One simple tweet really made me think yesterday. This guy posted a message that said something like, "I have a friend who is going through a really hard time. Please be kind to people, you never know what problems they are dealing with."
That tweet poses two huge challenges for me. First of all being kind to people is not always easy, especially if I see them as getting in my way. (I am also a recovering dickhead.) Second of all, I get so wrapped up in my stuff that at times it is difficult for me to humanize people, especially if I do not know them. Some of this is due to human nature, but without some sort of direction, I can be particularly self-centered.
It is hard for me to remember that the grocery sacker's mother may be at home dying of cancer; the person that just got my order wrong may not know where her child is; and the driver who did not use his blinker may be busy contemplating suicide. It is very difficult for me to imagine the world through other's eyes. My reality shines so bright in my own mind that it, so often, blinds me to the joys and the pains of those around me.
On the other hand, when the tables are turned and life throws something my way that feels unbearable, I can get appalled at the insensitivity of my fellows. In periods of mind-bending pain or grief, like my mother's illness and death - people going about their daily lives around me seems almost obscene. My mind says how can they be laughing right now? How can that person be complaining about this or that? Of course reason tells me that is not rational thinking.
In hard times life still requires us to pull up our boot straps and trudge on with daily business. At work we do our best not to show our troubles, not to bring personal problems into the workplace. We try not to have a breakdown in the grocery store. We try to rise to life's challenges through hurt and worry. We become actors so we can make it through our day. Some of us are better at it than others. The very best of us occasionally become overwhelmed.
Since I usually don't know what challenges people are dealing with, I guess the best thing would be for me to treat people with kindness all of the time. It would be nice to think that I made someone's journey through a dark day easier instead of harder without ever even knowing it. To do this with any consistency, I need constant reminders from people like the guy on Twitter last night, people like my friends and my teachers.
I need reminders to slow down, take an extra minute with people. It takes conscious effort at times for me to smile, bite my tongue and have patience with folks. I hope I can remember to practice some of this today. It really is nice to run into kind people when I feel like life's kicking my ass.
Sometimes I really have difficulty conjuring you guys into existence. (Thanks for that line, Mo.)
Hold that thought…
James
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