Down the Bunny Hole

Well now that was weird. And to think that I can be so hard on myself for still being confused about spirituality and religion six years into this quest for a higher power.

Before I give you a quick snapshot of my brush with an "observance of Easter", I will digress.

When I was a child Easter was like Christmas but without presents. Well there was that basket that my Mother so lovingly made for us at the foot of our beds when we woke. In it were such pretty colors. A chocolate bunny; shiny, plastic eggs that contained red hots or dimes; dimestore, baby chicks with real, fuzzy, yellow feathers and stiff wire legs and those nasty boiled eggs. Granted those eggs were pretty on the outside, but inside it was still a boiled egg. Gross.

Then there was church. Church but with clothes even more uncomfortable than usual. Church, a little bit longer than usual. And I was a little boy already growing uncomfortable in that place. The first sign of trouble for me and church, was this strange, fuzzy feeling I would get in my special place when I looked at the huge naked man nailed to the cross on the wall. Now, ladies get as judgy as you want, but you guys - you can't tell me that if it was some bare-breasted, naked lady-god nailed up there….well, nuff said. We guys are just built that way.

After church, was the Easter egg hunt, ehh, I could take it or leave it.

Then for years and years, Easter was just another Sunday for me.

Now, I am on a path to seek some kind of spiritual life. I am urged to remain open-minded, to seek every day. So one does not have to seek to hard on Easter. So many people walking around sporting "godandcountry" hard-ons. Many taking the opportunity to bask in their beliefs and spread 'em around. I got people who had crack-pipes in their mouths six months ago, mass-texting "He has risen." I got irreverent Twitter friends tweeting all kinds of Jesus jokes. Happy Zombie Jesus Day! Endless Cadbury Egg sexual innuendos ricocheting around in cyber space.

Then there is the gathering of what is left of my decimated family. What used to be a very large gathering of the Klan is now, not so much. Only a couple of Grand Dragons left. I have teased my family for years that the only difference between our gatherings and the Ku Klux Klan's is we are just lacking some robes and a cross. You see, I come from uneducated (but white) peasant stock in rural South Texas. So our holidays have always been a coming-together of some very kind, loving people and some very bigoted, angry, loving people. Even the haters have loved me and I love them. What's a boy to do?

I spent some beautiful hours with family I dearly love yesterday. Jesus didn't come up but we got caught up on family news, ate too much delicious bar-b-que and sat in the garage while the smokers smoked.

After over-eating and missing my work-out at the gym, I got to a meeting of the 12-step group I belong to. There we discussed, spirituality, religion and the all-inclusiveness of our program. Most people, due to demographics, are "Christian" around these-here parts. I suspect, down deep though, they would be more comfortable if everyone were "Christians". I personally wish they could come up with a different word for it. I still get the willies when I think of myself as that.

Personally, I am kind of glad that today is just another Monday, not Good Monday, Ash Monday or Palm Monday - just Monday.

Happy Monday! Oh yeah, by the way, he is still "risen" today too.

Hold that thought…

James