My Reminders

The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.  ~Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind, 1954

This quote has been rolling around in my head for about three days. It seems to be rooted in Eastern teaching, but it also runs parallel with what I am taught in recovery. I am being taught that the search for a power greater than myself and service to others is where my efforts should be spent and that happiness can be a by-product of those efforts.

I get unhappy and try to think my way out of it. I try to eat my way out of it. I try to buy my way out of it. I have even started trying to exercise my way out of it. I go to a lot of meetings to try to escape discontentment. I call people up to see if they can make me happy. Eventually I get really tired, fat, broke and discouraged.

I was discussing Step Five with some folks yesterday and was again pondering the connection between God and my fellows in recovery. I reflected back on my meeting with my sponsor the day before and thought about what he shared with me after I told him how I had fallen short of effective with a sponsee.

As usual, he talked about God. 

Just like with my trying to control and eventually trying to stop drinking, I try and try on my own steam to conjure, manipulate, wrest, tweak, twist, force, and maneuver my way out of every jam I get myself into. It is only after repeated failure do I go to anyone for any kind of guidance. In recovery, the people always point me towards a spiritual solution.

So, again, I find myself digging out and dusting off my spiritual materials. I read, yesterday, the teachings of a spiritual leader that I respect and was immediately lifted out of my self pity and discontentment. It continues to baffle me how I can again and again forget what the entire point of my program is. Maybe I just need to get a big tattoo on my forehead (written backwards of course for the mirror) that says, “Seek spiritually when experiencing any discomfort.”

Somehow self-seeking always starts seeming like the answer to all my problems, again. That is why I mustn’t stray too far from my reminders. You know who you are. Thanks.

Hold that thought...

James