I have the ability to feel lonely in spite of the fact that my life is so full of wonderful people.
I am single and have been that way for many years. The last couple of years of my drinking I had cut myself off from other people to a great degree. I had good reason to feel alone. I had a few friends left, but I had to limit contact with them for fear of alienating them with my attitude and my endless issues and dramas.
The difference today is that I am surrounded by a group of people that are so much like me. Most of us are learning how to reintroduce people and relationships back into our lives. For me the process is slow.
Last night I had dinner and a long visit with two fairly new friends. This weekend, I have plans to have dinner with an old friend and spend a good bit of time with my fellows in and out of meetings. Really, all I have to do is stop turning down invites and show up where my peeps gather. Easier said than done for this loner.
It has been a sustained effort on my part to stay connected to folks. In recovery, people come and people go. We are a dynamic little tribe. Sometimes my little social scene is jumping and sometimes the phone seems to go quiet. When the phone goes quiet, if I do not make an effort to reach out fairly soon, I find myself slipping into loneliness.
I don’t feel lonely this morning. I am in good company. I’m just glad you guys put up with me and my stuff.
Hold that thought...
James
After coming out of the closet I had a difficult time opening up to people. I am still cautious when it comes to talking to new people I haven't met or known before. I hate that awkward moment of just begging to get to know someone.
ReplyDeleteI have been away from the Blogs for awhile; but I checked in this morning and read your post on loneliness and it was just what I needed to "hear". I have been dealing with loneliness and being alone in recent weeks/months. I am a single senior living in a senior apt bldg in Chicago. I have only my Social Security income (for which I am gateful) so it does not allow me (or others) very much money for dinners, movies and things like that. But....like you said...all I have to do is pick up the phone and reach out. That 100 lb phone!! I, too, am in recovery, AA, and am about 7 1/2 yrs sober. It's up to me to take the action, as you suggested, to stop from sliding into loneliness. Thanks so much for the great reminder! Richard J. Chicago
ReplyDeleteLoneliness can be such a tricky thing. You can be in a room full of friends and feel very alone; or be by all yourself at home, playing a favourite CD and feel so content. I'm very much a people person, but I still have to be in the right mood to socialise. ;)
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